Little Miss Awkward

I just can’t help it!!

Being a coward..

red-cross.jpg Today I did something that I have been putting off for a while. A distant uncle is in hospital, he had severe stroke and is unable to be speak, or move and is unlikely that he will recover.  The frustrating thing about it is that he brain works but he is unable to communicate. The only way he can is by blinking answers to yes or no questions. Whenever I go see him, I fell totally useless, I don’t know what to say to him. I am just in awe of his wife and kids, they visit him every day without fail, talk to him, makes sure his favourite program is switched on. Their dedication is phenomenal. I watch as they effortlessy say and do the right thing. The rare times that I go see him, I can’t wait to leave. I feel like such a bad person but when there I really don’t know what to do.

I am in the habit of running away from difficult situations, I just don’t know how to handle it. You know when guys are accused of not knowing when to say the right things, I sympathise, because women are seen as these pillars of strength that are able to deal with anything that is thrown their away but I am not like that. I hide a lot behind the being female thing because when someone is hurt or in pain, I automatically go physical, I hug, cuddle, hold hands anything but when it comes to offering words of comfort I clam up. I feel whatever comes out of my mouth is going to sound so cliche and meaningless therefore I dont bother. 

 The other day at the tube station there was a blind man with a stick who got off my stop. I have seen him before and he is very proficient at getting on tubes, getting off at his stop etc but he does need help being directed towards the stairs.  So I saw him at the platform, for a minute I was trying to figure out how to approach him to offer him assistance. Do I say ‘may I help you’, ‘do you need help?’ ‘ are you ok?’  ‘Is there something I can do’, I was so caught up trying to say the right thing, as I did not want to patronise him.  While I was busy working out my approach some other citizen just flung by and said ‘the stairs are this way’ offered her hand and led him in the right direction? Why didn’t I just do that, why did I make such a big deal out of it?

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December 17, 2006 - Posted by | Blogroll, Family

3 Comments »

  1. The thing is…the blind person deals with these comments several times a day and propably is immune to them to a certain extent. What he really cares about is finding the damn stairs.

    You know what I do on the other front of hard things to do like your example of visits…I put them off and off and then at that point it is even harder because now I have to explain why I haven’t been by. I always feel like after putting a visit off for so long and then finally do it there is an elephant in the room with us. I am really bad at this myself.

    Damn it, Thanks a lot now I have to swing by my grandma’s on my lunch hour….

    Comment by isualum | December 18, 2006 | Reply

  2. lol-you better go see grandma, doing it in a lunch hour gives you a get out clause. You see how messed up my thinking is 😦

    Comment by sugar007 | December 18, 2006 | Reply

  3. I know exactly what you mean, you are not alone. However, I do believe that God will only put upon us what we can handle. Of course there is the other saying too, God WILL PUT more upon us so we will rely on HIM. I will pray for your uncle.

    Anyway, I know what you mean about the blind man as well. I see people come along and take action with such ease and I am envious of them.

    Comment by Vedova Donna | December 19, 2006 | Reply


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