Little Miss Awkward

I just can’t help it!!

Valentine’s Shmalentine, urghhh

images.jpg Reading Chitty’s blog about Valentine’s day, inspired me to add my rant on the day of love bollocks. For a start I don’t appreciate watching TV and having ads coming on every five seconds peddling crappy compilation love albums featuring hits by Foreigner, Westlife and of course no love compilation would be complete without the soul sapping, nauseating, never-ending, yodeling better known as ‘My heart will go on’ by the secret prozac popping, grandpa marrying, warbler that is Celine Dion.  My heart will go on and on and on and on and on, if an iceberg didn’t bring down the Titanic – that song would have done the job.

Then there is that pressure on couples to do something. With 365 days a year if you ain’t doing something special as a couple for a few days in that year, and you have to wait for February 14th, then you are in trouble.

I feel so sorry for men, you see them hovering around the lingerie shops like deers caught in the headlights. It is almost like a trial to see if they get the day right, the chance of them getting some action that night depends on them making the right moves. And that is what that day boils down to for them. Men don’t really see it as a day to say ‘I Love You’, to their nearest and dearest, this is the day they are guaranteed to knock some boots, without walking over broken glass and hot coals for it. They desperately trying to get it right but inevitably some will bomb. There are those who will buy the wrong underwear for their missus, or even worse the wrong underwear in the wrong size. Or the ones that forget to book the table, try getting a last minute booking on Valentine’s day!! Or the ones that give cards and presents meant for their mistresses to their wives, good times.

As a singleton, I am not particularly bothered that I will be on my lonesome on Wednesday night but the one thing that bothers me is that it falls on my gym day. I remember last year I was a singleton on Valentine’s day (is there a pattern here?)  and I was at the gym. It was like the Marie Celeste,  really quiet. It had a sprinkling of people, and everyone there had that I-am-embarrassed-to-be-here-as-I-clearly-have-no-date-tonight look. Even exposed child molesters don’t look that ashamed or embarrassed and those freaks have every reason in the world to hide their heads in shame.

Therefore no date, no gym, what am I left with a bloody Meg Ryan or Hugh Grant marathon. Of course some clever TV exec thinks that if you aren’ t out and about getting loved up with your significant other, you must want to sit through 90 minutes of a stuttering, floppy haired, professional Englishman playing the same character in nearly every single film he is in – the hapless, blundering, floppy haired, Englishman.

I genuinely hope all those couples out there do have a good time but this day should not be what dictates people spending quality time with a loved one


February 12, 2007 Posted by | Blogroll, Rant, Romance | 8 Comments

7 weeks and counting

chacuterie.jpg Going to work has been much more of a chore lately than usual. That feeling when you know the end is nigh and you lose all enthusiasm for anything else, is what I am feeling right now. Those niggly things that usually bug the hell out of me at work and about the people I work with, does not bug me as much as it used to. Whenever I feel my blood boil about something, something else inside me clicks and I just smile inwardly, as I know this is will soon be a thing of the past. 

In a few weeks I will be packing my belongings and fulfilling a dream that I have always had, living in a new country, immersing myself in a new culture, running away from it all to somewhere unknown and just exploring the endless possibilities. I am so excited it is ridiculous, and the fear I feel is all part of that excitement. Part of my excitement of this trip is that I see it as a journey of self discovery. I know it probably sounds very much like some ‘Dr Phil’ BS but I see this trip as  an opportunity to work on my bad bits (which are plentiful) and to appreciate my good bits (I am my own worst critic). 

I am already relishing my first trip to the boulangerie to buy a baguette, or to the chacuterie to get some ham 🙂 I know it is ridiculous because we have baguettes and ham right here in good ole blighty but it is that feeling of being in France.  I do have to admit that excitement is not the only emotion that I am feeling, I am also petrified. There is no job and no support system for me, as I will be flying solo on this one but to be honest I don’t think I will have it any other way. Who was it that said things that are worth having don’t come easy?

February 8, 2007 Posted by | Blogroll, Uncategorized, Work | 4 Comments

Elton will be proud

elton-john.jpg Spent the whole day in bed recovering from the mother of all hangovers.  That went my promise never to drink to excess again. Went out with some friends last night for our christmas dinner. Yes very aware that the festive season has been and gone but any excuse to party. Had the most gorgeous portugese meal (yep the diet is going great), downed a few vodkas and coke, flirted shamelessly with the Australian barman till we got thrown out because it was closing time and not because of unreasonable behaviour – I hasten to add. The night was young and there was still some partying to be done.

So we stumbled into the local gay bar. If you are up for a night of shameless ass shaking on the dancefloor without being hit on by men, gay bars are where its’ at. A room full of unavailable sweaty shirtless men with bodies for sin and attitudes to match made this night the best I have had in a long time. Spent the whole night looking at most of the guys in there and thinking ‘what a waste’ 🙂 

However I did notice that there were some rather wiley men who used this club to pick up women. It is pretty ingenious really, some straight men have cottoned on to the fact going to a gay club is a good way to pick up women, based on the fact that the competition is very low, therefore they stand a better chance than if they went to a straight club. Rather cunning but I have to admit I have to admire the tactic.

What I love about gay clubs is the love you get in there. There is no mean mugging, everyone is happy, there is one mission and that is to have the best possible time you could have, it does seem like such a contrast to the straight clubs that I have been to recently. I wish I could transfer the atmosphere you get in a gay club to a straight club, it would be ideal. The last straight club I went to, a fight broke out, a girl was driven off in an ambulance and some guy got roughed up by the bouncers – good times!!!

February 4, 2007 Posted by | Blogroll, Uncategorized | 3 Comments