Little Miss Awkward

I just can’t help it!!

Guilty Pleasures (1)

One of my unfulfilled ambitions is¬† to be a dancer. I am a bit too old in the tooth to set the world of dance alight but I have every intention of living my dreams through my poor unsuspecting future children and being the stage mum from hell ūüôā If anyone knows how to convince a little boy that doing ballet and contemporary¬†is totally ok, even though the idiots at school might pick on him please let me know, so I can be prepared for that inevitable eventuality. Kids are cruel!!

Back to my guilty pleasure numero uno. So you think you can dance (SYTYCD), this show leaves me in awe, envy, admiration, tears etc. I watched it on Living TV in the UK but thanks to YOU TUBE (loving your work) since I have been in France I haven’t totally missed out. Watch these and tell me it does nothing for you.

1. This is just breathtakingly beautiful to watch. This is the reason why my son WILL, I repeat WILL be a dancer (she says with a manic look in her eyes as she froths at the mouth).

2. Freaky, fun, and funky. One of my favourite choreography on the show. Love it!!!!!!

3. SEXXY

4. Brilliant Choreography from the best in my opinion (Mia Michaels)

5. Variety is the spice of life.

6. This is from the Ellen show. Check out the latin dancers, poppers and breakdancers. Geez!!!

7. Some that just boggles the mind and body

November 16, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Music, Rant, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Ermmm do I know you?

¬†I have to admit being a single girl, I am on the look-out (yes, yes, I know¬†it never happens when you look for it). Well I wasn’t looking for it and it happened. Well not happened, happened but happenedish or might happen. Anyway explanation necessary methinks. [Aside:I have just polished off an Auchan version of pringles in a space of ten minutes and I wonder why the scales aren’t moving in the right direction]

Back at the ranch, arrived at my bus stop carrying my Mary Poppins¬†bag (called that because it could fit a mercedes, swimming pool and has roomfor a pony), and spent a good five minutes trying to locate my mp3 player. Found it and spent another five minutes¬†trying to detangle the headphones. A man at the bus stop I had not paid any attention to¬†came up to me and said in French, “Are you going to turn that on so no one speaks to you?” [Aside: My french is getting so much better yay]. I smile and say no that it is just a habit I have when I commute. So to summarise this encounter, bus stop man is from Paris, doing a course, on his way back to Paris, enquires about my relationship status and invites me to visit Paris for the weekend. To summarise my response, I tell bus stop man that I am in a relationship and my boyfriend is around (big fat lie, as if I will go to Paris to visit a guy I met at a bus stop and talked to for ten minutes. I am hungry but I have not reached starvation point, if you know what I mean). I was rescued from this uncomfortable situation by the timely arrival of my bus.

Later that day on my way back to the office, as I exit the metro via the escalators, I realise I am being one of those annoying people who stands smack in the centre of the escalator, annoying that person who wants to walk up it. I am not usually this thoughtless but I was playing with my headphones again. So a guy nudges me and I turn to him and apologise letting him past. I reach the office, trying to retrieve the keys from the MP bag and¬† turn around to see the same elevator guy next to me. He tells me he sells womens clothes (nice and random conversation opener), I smile and say ‘good for you’ (thinking, ooookay weirdo). Summary of conversation, he lives in Italy, visiting his sister here, is half Italian, half Trinidadian, he enquires about my place of residence, and relationship status and he doesn’t carry a pen or a phone ūüėČ

As you can probably deduce, I decided to give him my number because besides the weird ice breaker, it was quite a normal pleasant conversation and I thought I shouldn’t be soooo cautious all the time. Do something crazy and give a random stranger your phone number. As he didn’t have a pen and as I couldn’t be bothered rooting inside MP bag to get one, he memorised my number. One of my flatmates thinks he will remember it and the other thinks he will forget it. I am hinging my bets on the latter. I have had my number for over a year and I still don’t know it by heart, so what chance has he got. We shall see.

The thing is I am always wary of these sort of random encounters because call me weird but I think it IS weird when a man tries chatting you up within a space of seeing you for around five seconds. In my head, I think I bet he does it a lot. I imagine that the thought process for them is like fishing, cast your net wide enough your bound to catch something. Maybe I am being too harsh about this but last time this happened, it didn’t turn out well, remember Jean and the date.

I would be really interested to hear the weirdest and most random ways and places you have met people you have dated, or gone out with or even married.

May 28, 2008 Posted by | Battle of the Bulge, Blogroll, France, Music, Romance, Uncategorized, Work | Leave a comment

Accessory to Infidelity? Part deux

In the¬†morning following J’s return from her guitar strumming hippie fest, the atmosphere was so dense, you could cut it with a knife. This had nothing to do with the folded up blankets on the couch. This was more to do with J’s annoyance that G knew she was going to be back last night but was not home to paricipate in some kind of welcome-home-I-missed-you ritual. To add insult to injury, G stumbled in at 0230 in the morning.

In the morning, G got up first to Girl’s astonishment as she was the one out on the lash the night before. Girl promptly informed G that J had inquired as to who slept over here. The breakfast table was a bit of an awkward affair for Girl, as she could sense J’s annoyance at G, and G’s awareness of J’s annoyance. The day before J had told Girl that G had not called or sent a text while she was away, which also annoyed her and gave her the impression that G did not miss her or frankly give a shit. J had asked Girl if G was away alot at the weekend. Girl who is hating this replies that G has been ‘in and out’.¬†

Donc, back to the breakfast table. The moment Girl has been dreading came up,¬†J asked who stayed¬†over. G with a coolness that Fonzie would be proud of¬†informs her it was Melissa.¬†At this point Girl takes a more than usual interest in the jar of Nutella that was in her sight. The nutty smell is the key to this sinfully glorious spread. Wow!! Girl marvelled at the unsurprising 530 calories that was in a 100g of this stuff. So what does that make a teaspoon. As Girl was spreading a possible 530 calories worth of Nutella on her Wasa (Ryvita type thing), she casts a furtive eye at J to gauge her reaction. Girl swore she saw a lump form in J’s throat. Girl cannot bear to look at G. J with the quiet dignity of a Tudorian Queen sips her coffee, and acts as if she has been told that she has a piece of fluff on her jumper. The sense of hurt is palpable.

Alone with G, she looks at Girl and cheerily informs her that J was fine about it. Girl asks G if she really thought that J was not bothered, which from her reaction she knew she was. So Girl was relieved that there was no throwing of sharp objects but something tells Girl that if G had messed with half the French rugby team and half the netball team, J will not go anywhere. The power of love aye!!

May 14, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Music, Rant, Romance, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Accessory to Infidelity?

 Once upon a time there was a girl who lived in a beautiful appartment with a couple, Jill and Gillian. One weekend J  went away to a music festival to listen and play music with other like minded music loving hippies. A couple of hours after J left, G was sad and upset because she was missing her girlfriend. This sadness did not last long because G went out partying all night long.

At 5am¬†Girl was awoken by soft music and chit chatter. Girl was not pleased at having her sleep disturbed but used the opportunity to answer a nature call, Girl went downstairs and G looked deep in intimate cosy conversation with a strange woman, who Girl was later to learn was called ‘Melissa’. Girl felt like a little girl who has just caught mummy doing something with someone that wasn’t daddy. Girl did not witness anything physical, as in PHYSICAL but could sense there was something happening that would not be happening if J was around, that’s for sure.

Next morning, Girl awoke to find Melissa sleeping on the couch. Luckily G was not with her, now that would have been awkward. Melissa woke up shortly after and went upstairs to see G, who was in bed. That definitely would not happen if J was home. She stayed a while upstairs with G then came down got dressed, ate some cereal and left. Girl looked at G, who had the guiltiest smile plastered on her face. Girl demanded an explanation for this brazen display of sluttery. Gill said M was infact an ex-girlfriend and said nothing happened. Girl didn’t believe her but G was insistent. However if nothing happened, could the same nothing have happened if J was home. Girl asked G whether she was going to mention this ‘innocent’ event to J, G was not forthcoming. So Girl said she wouldn’t mention it to J as it was not my place to do that. However following deeper conversation Girl finds out that G is in fact really attracted to a guy she works with. WTF?? Girl wonders if she is living in a bad soap opera.

J comes home while G is out partying as she has been all weekend and sees the folded-up blankets on the couch. G promptly asks Girl who stayed over at the weekend, Girl felt lump in her throat and expertly avoided answering the question the first two times¬†J asked it. The third time was not easy to escape answering, so Girl vaguely said she couldn’t remember what the person’s name was. Damn¬†G why didn’t she get rid of the damn evidence. So now Girl feels that there is some shit going to hit the fan and is not at all happy feeling like an accessory to this.

May 11, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Music, Rant, Romance | 2 Comments

Do you remember when………

French and Saunders used to be funny?

This has to be the best ever sketch that they have done in my humble opinion. Totally spot on.

Especially love Dawn doing her Missy Elliot bit.

April 12, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, Music, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Will be seeing guy from previous post tomorrow?

February 5, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, Music, Romance, Uncategorized, Work | 3 Comments

Random Nights

music.jpg¬†Tagged along with my flatmates, to their friend’s bar. I had heard stories about the bar, you know bar brawls, broken windows that sort of thing. So I was expecting a dive of a place, however when I got there it was quite a charming little bar. Very cosy, with a jazz band playing…nice!! So arrived very sober, we perched ourselves by the bar, ordered our drinks, and it started.

A random American guy just got into the¬†middle of our group and said, ‘You know, it sho is nace to hear people speaking English around here’. Okaaay. He introduced himself and we introduced ourselves. His name was Wayne. Wayne looked a bit like Daniel Craig, which I mentioned. My housemate chipped in saying, “that was subtle”. I guess it sounded like a pick up line but totally wasn’t supposed to be. He was cute, and spoke in a Forest Gump kinda way. I had this feeling that he was going to latch unto us for the whole night, which he did but it ended up being a good thing. Wayne turned out to be a really nice guy.

The band playing, were so ‘jazzy’, I mean the double bass player at a point looked like he was making love to his instrument (no pun) and the guy on the drums was contorting his face so much he was giving Joe Cocker a run for his money.¬† It was so entertaining. The music was good and I was trying really hard to be adult and appreciate it but¬†it¬†was hard trying not to pee my pants from laughter. Anyway as the beer flowed and the time went by, the freaks came out of the woodwork.

Rockabilly guy – Late 40s with bad teeth. Came up to me, shook my hands and promptly told me how much he loved rock-a-billy music. Didn’t understand a word he said and in between words he would burst into song.¬† And playing the imaginary harmonica.

Scary lady – Met her in the smoking hurdle outside. (Smoking not permitted inside buildings now). She spoke at a million decibels and informed us ‘a good kid is a dead kid’. Okaayyyyyyyyy.

Amourous man – In his 60s, had a habit of kissing my hand, forcing me to kiss his, linking hands, trying to kiss me on the lips (shudder) and trying to get free beer from our pitcher. Also had a weird obsession with the natural gap between my front teeth.

The needy lady- Fairly attractive lady in her late 20s. Has a reputation for picking up a different guy every weekend at the same bar.  She got her claws into Wayne as soon as she walked into the bar. She went for a cigarette with Wayne and never came back. Hmmmmm

The domino man РAs described, he kept collapsing on people causing a Domino effect.

The dead man – Early 60s, didn’t move a muscle and stared ahead, wore a hat too.

The stood-up guy- Late 30s, met a lady the previous evening, and felt a ‘close proximity’ to her. Arranged to meet her but she never showed. Foolish lady, he was quite fit!!

The I-am-drunk-but-trying-not-to-show-it lady – Late 20s, had a bit too much to drink and was talking to every Tom, Dick and Harry at the bar. Clearly pissed but trying to convince herself and others that she is stone cold sober. Ermm this was me!!

It was a fun night yall¬† ūüôā

January 13, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Music, Romance, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

But I’m a laydee…

A while ago, I was tagged for this meme by Princesse. Don’t usually do them but this would be fun. With moving and all I hadn’t been able to do it…..till now.¬† I am about to let you into my inner sanctum, yes people you are about to get a guided tour of the contents of my handbag. Brace yourselves because it is going to a bumpy one ūüôā (Aside: Love Bette Davis, if you haven’t seen ‘All about Eve’, what are you waiting for?)

brolly-copy.jpg

 Needs no explanation does it? You know winter, rain, bad weather, so this is an essential in my book, and has a permanent place in my bag!!

tissues-copy.jpg Okay, you can never have enough tissues, lipsyl (essential), lip gloss (necessary), a mirror (necessary), and of course hand cream. Last thing you want is some poor person mistaking your hands for a grater when they shake it!!

bagpuss-copy.jpg Travel Kit: As I have the navigation skills of a blind man in a desert, I need some help. Never go anywhere without my GPS and a map. While I am getting lost around the city I need to be entertained, that is where the CDs and my CD facia thingy comes in. Great to blast some chunes with, although I probably have the worst car stereo system in the world.

 dough-copy.jpg Money, Money, Money: At the time of taking the pictures, I had 1 euro and some change Рdefinitely living large!!

musiq-copy.jpg¬†“Music is the heart and soul, more precious than gold” – Marvin Gaye. Don’t worry Princesse, you are not the only one who hasn’t got an ipod. Always have my lil mp3 player on me but unfortunately I bought one of those with special headphones that comes in two parts and when that got worn out, I had to replace it with normal ones. Now I think I officially have the longest headphones in the world. Sound quality is crap!!!

pens-copy.jpg¬†Just like lip balm, you can never have enough pens!! Don’t you dare call me Pauline..

smokes-copy.jpg Yes, I know smoking kills okay. But you can never have enough lighters. Moving swiftly on.

talk-copy.jpg¬†I need two mobby’s. No, I am not a call girl (remember purse picture).

iron-copy.jpg¬†Last but not the least….. ¬†ūüôā¬†

Okay I tag: Miss M, Euro, Cat, Redflowers¬†, Chitty, (the proud carrier of a man bag, I suspect) ūüôā With all tags, it is not compulsory but it will be fun to see what you guys have in your bags!!

December 2, 2007 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Music, Uncategorized, Work | 5 Comments

My Latest Obsession

I have not been posting a lot because it has been mad busy for moi with moving and all, but I have a minute or two to share my latest obsession. A lot of young people in France are dancing like this, and I am just loving it. It is one of those things that is good and bad in equal measures.¬†¬†Also stealing some moves ūüôā Check it out. The song is called ‘A cause des Garcons’ by YELLE. Enjoy ūüôā

 

November 17, 2007 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Music, Uncategorized, Work | Leave a comment

We all in da club

dancing.jpg¬†‘Twas a friend’s birthday a while ago and after a few drinks and apperitifs at her house, someone decided that we should go to a club. I look at my watch 1am, isn’t it a bit late to go clubbing? I was duly informed that we are going at the right time. As it has been a while since I have been to a club, I was a filled with a mixture of anxiety, anticipation, dread and excitement in equal measures. I love music and love to dance but it has been a while.

We got to the club, it was absolutely pissing it down and we had to queue outside for ages. Now I remember why it¬†has been¬†while since I have been clubbing. Got in the club, and things started looking up. The music was great, the atmosphere was good, it was just about people wanting to have a good time. As I got down on the dance floor, to my relief, I realised that I still had it ūüôā

The good time I had was quite often interrupted by a couple of guys who asked me to dance. Normally this is not a problem, as it is nice to asked but at the same token, all I agreed to was a dance not a dry humping and groping session. It was awful, hands everywhere, hard things rubbing against me that really had no business doing that or being hard in the first place. I spent most of my time removing hands and trying to get some air between our bodies.¬† The guys were not my cup of tea, so that didn’t help matters. I don’t know maybe if it was a guy that got my eyebrows twitching (this is not a euphemism) I might not have been adverse to some bump ‘n’ grind action but some thing told me that this was the closest a couple of these guys had come to an erotic moment in a decade (shudder).

Is this what clubbing is about these days, random men trying to cop-a-feel?

September 30, 2007 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Music, Rant, Romance, Uncategorized | 10 Comments