Little Miss Awkward

I just can’t help it!!

My Top Ten Hotties

Cat did this on her blog and I am totally nicking it. Here is my Top 10 list of men that I fancy something rotten. I have to warn you, who people fancy is a¬† subjective thing, so remember that when you lol at some of my choices ūüôā

10. Dave Chappelle

One of the funniest comedians in my opinion. He is skinny bordering on scrawny but I think he is luvvly. The fact he is funny adds to his appeal.

9. Benecio del Toro

I have a penchant for the older man and here is one of them. The thing with BDL as I like to call him is on most days he looks like a cross between Saddam Hussein, a werewolf, a homeless guy and Che Guevra. He has the look of someone who smokes 60 a day and drinks his whisky neat, just damn right unhealthy but God I love him.

8. Adam Sevani

Here comes the cradle robbing entry. This falls under the category of nerdy cute.¬†¬†I have to admit if it wasn’t for the fact that he could do this, I am not sure if I would still harbour the same feelings. I am a sucker for a man who can breakdance, tap dance, pop and lock, tektonik, krump, tango, salsa, do ballet basically just¬†dance. I mean dance that uses skill not just flapping about like an eel on dry land. Besides Adam also has great hair.

7. Alejandro Sanz

This latin love god for me has¬†that husky¬†voice that could makes me swoon. When he is not busy being Shakira’s duet buddy, he is being adored by lots of females, me included.

6. Harold Perrineau

Most of you know him from’Lost’ but I fell in love with him when he was the wheelchaired inmate in ‘OZ’ (really recommend this series). He has this overbite that I find extremely cute. Did I mention I like guys with ‘quirks’?

5. Liam Neeson

Another ‘mature’ bloke. I think he is extremely sexy, and he is about 7ft something (ok slight exaggeration) but he is fit. Okay this picture makes him look 100 and something but honestly he is well fit ūüôā I really love his kinda of broken nose. Yes I am peculiar.

4. William Peterson

Yes another ‘mature’¬† one and can you blame me. As Grissom in CSI, he is smart and nerdy but that all adds to his appeal. He is like fine wine, just gets better with age!!

3. Colin Salmon

One of the most underrated British actors in my opinion. He is so suave and smooth, without being a¬†nob with it. First noticed him in Prime Suspect with Helen Mirren, and knew he was one to keep an eye on. I have kept my eye on him ever since ūüėČ

2. Matthew Mcconaughy

This is not just about his chiseled good looks or seriously hot bod, I actually don’t go for that kind of thing but I like his free spirit and his naked bongo playing type escapades. He just doesn’t give a damn.

1. Gary Dourdan

Let’s ignore his recent drug possession charge shall we and just appreciate his loveliness. I mean even on his mug shot he manages to look okayish ūüôā Fans of CSI will recognise him as Warwick, but I have appreciated him since he was on ‘Different World’ yonks ago.

I am not going to tag anyone to do this but I sure would be interested to find out what sort of guy or gal gets other bloggers going.

May 18, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, Romance, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Accessory to Infidelity? Part deux

In the¬†morning following J’s return from her guitar strumming hippie fest, the atmosphere was so dense, you could cut it with a knife. This had nothing to do with the folded up blankets on the couch. This was more to do with J’s annoyance that G knew she was going to be back last night but was not home to paricipate in some kind of welcome-home-I-missed-you ritual. To add insult to injury, G stumbled in at 0230 in the morning.

In the morning, G got up first to Girl’s astonishment as she was the one out on the lash the night before. Girl promptly informed G that J had inquired as to who slept over here. The breakfast table was a bit of an awkward affair for Girl, as she could sense J’s annoyance at G, and G’s awareness of J’s annoyance. The day before J had told Girl that G had not called or sent a text while she was away, which also annoyed her and gave her the impression that G did not miss her or frankly give a shit. J had asked Girl if G was away alot at the weekend. Girl who is hating this replies that G has been ‘in and out’.¬†

Donc, back to the breakfast table. The moment Girl has been dreading came up,¬†J asked who stayed¬†over. G with a coolness that Fonzie would be proud of¬†informs her it was Melissa.¬†At this point Girl takes a more than usual interest in the jar of Nutella that was in her sight. The nutty smell is the key to this sinfully glorious spread. Wow!! Girl marvelled at the unsurprising 530 calories that was in a 100g of this stuff. So what does that make a teaspoon. As Girl was spreading a possible 530 calories worth of Nutella on her Wasa (Ryvita type thing), she casts a furtive eye at J to gauge her reaction. Girl swore she saw a lump form in J’s throat. Girl cannot bear to look at G. J with the quiet dignity of a Tudorian Queen sips her coffee, and acts as if she has been told that she has a piece of fluff on her jumper. The sense of hurt is palpable.

Alone with G, she looks at Girl and cheerily informs her that J was fine about it. Girl asks G if she really thought that J was not bothered, which from her reaction she knew she was. So Girl was relieved that there was no throwing of sharp objects but something tells Girl that if G had messed with half the French rugby team and half the netball team, J will not go anywhere. The power of love aye!!

May 14, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Music, Rant, Romance, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Accessory to Infidelity?

 Once upon a time there was a girl who lived in a beautiful appartment with a couple, Jill and Gillian. One weekend J  went away to a music festival to listen and play music with other like minded music loving hippies. A couple of hours after J left, G was sad and upset because she was missing her girlfriend. This sadness did not last long because G went out partying all night long.

At 5am¬†Girl was awoken by soft music and chit chatter. Girl was not pleased at having her sleep disturbed but used the opportunity to answer a nature call, Girl went downstairs and G looked deep in intimate cosy conversation with a strange woman, who Girl was later to learn was called ‘Melissa’. Girl felt like a little girl who has just caught mummy doing something with someone that wasn’t daddy. Girl did not witness anything physical, as in PHYSICAL but could sense there was something happening that would not be happening if J was around, that’s for sure.

Next morning, Girl awoke to find Melissa sleeping on the couch. Luckily G was not with her, now that would have been awkward. Melissa woke up shortly after and went upstairs to see G, who was in bed. That definitely would not happen if J was home. She stayed a while upstairs with G then came down got dressed, ate some cereal and left. Girl looked at G, who had the guiltiest smile plastered on her face. Girl demanded an explanation for this brazen display of sluttery. Gill said M was infact an ex-girlfriend and said nothing happened. Girl didn’t believe her but G was insistent. However if nothing happened, could the same nothing have happened if J was home. Girl asked G whether she was going to mention this ‘innocent’ event to J, G was not forthcoming. So Girl said she wouldn’t mention it to J as it was not my place to do that. However following deeper conversation Girl finds out that G is in fact really attracted to a guy she works with. WTF?? Girl wonders if she is living in a bad soap opera.

J comes home while G is out partying as she has been all weekend and sees the folded-up blankets on the couch. G promptly asks Girl who stayed over at the weekend, Girl felt lump in her throat and expertly avoided answering the question the first two times¬†J asked it. The third time was not easy to escape answering, so Girl vaguely said she couldn’t remember what the person’s name was. Damn¬†G why didn’t she get rid of the damn evidence. So now Girl feels that there is some shit going to hit the fan and is not at all happy feeling like an accessory to this.

May 11, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Music, Rant, Romance | 2 Comments

Should I stay or should I go

¬†Recently I decided to get more pro-active on the new job search front, so I sent my CV off to agencies and applied online for jobs that in reality I don’t think I have a rats arse of getting but hey, I am in a ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’ mood.

Well a few days ago I receive a phone call from one of the agencies I had sent my CV to and the lady on the other end said she just needed to ask me a few questions.

  1. Did I realise that the agency and jobs that they recruit for is based in <insert another European city her>? Response: yes
  2. So I am willing to relocate? Response: yes
  3. How quickly am I willing to relocate? Panic as this was not an expectant question, actually this was not an expectant call, FULL STOP!! Response: 3-4 weeks (kick myself after saying this)
  4. What was my expectant salary bracket? Response: Well let me put it this way, after rushing home to look at the agency’s site and the pay brackets of the jobs advertised, if i doubled my figure, they wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. So kicking myself for original response to this question.

Anyway I have a phone interview scheduled for next week. Now I have been mulling over this predicament for a while and I have a few questions of my own.

  1. Am I really willing to relocate again? I love the city and country I am in but my job is not the greatest, but I am making great strides with the language learning thing, which was one of the main reasons for being here in the 1st place. But the job prospects here suck. But it means starting all over again if I leave.
  2. What if I really get offered a job that pays shed loads? You wouldn’t believe this but this actually scares me, and it scares me because I think it is a strong possibility (not meaning to blow my own trumpet but hey). And also a job that pays shed loads tends to have have a shed lots of responsibility and problems. Am I ready for that?
  3. What would my flatmates think? Okay this one is one of my main worries believe it or not because one half of the couple is going off on a six month ‘finding myself adventure to developing countries’¬† trip and I am here for rent and company for the remaining one, so I would feel really crappy if I left them in the lurch.

Quite rightly some of you are thinking, but you have not been offered a job yet, so what is with all the ‘What if’ questions. Sorry but I am that kind of girl, I need to know what I would do in the case of any eventualities. Well I have¬†some questions for you dear reader:

  1. If you were offered an interesting job and the pay was okayish (not talking big bucks here) would you relocate?
  2. If you were offered an interesting job with great money, with the circumstances that I mentioned e.g flatmates, leaving lovely city, would you go?

 

May 8, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Rant, Work | 1 Comment

You what?

¬†Recently I have been updating my CV and so I was looking into changing some of my more mundanr job titles¬† to big up myself and responsibilities and have been scanning the web for ideas. During my research I have nearly killed over with laughter at some of the stuff some people have come up with. In today’s job market a lot of employers seem to have cottoned on to the fact that rather than increase people’s salaries, they give them fancy job titles because the human ego is amazingly strokable, therefore they will feel more important even though their pay is shitty.

A survey by global headhunters Korn Ferry International has come up with some howlers. Can you guess what these job titles are because I sure as hell can’t.

Chief Cheerleader, Chief Inspiration Officer, Director of Decisions, Director of First Impressions, Process Change Manager and General Manager Reporting to the General Manager. 

I am guessing Director of First Impressions is a good old fashioned receptionist ūüôā Try this for size:

Chief acceleration officer (someone¬†who is¬†leading the company into the future), Chief growth officer and chief imagination officer (someone who finds new ideas for the company to pursue), Notionologist (someone who researches popular culture to help clients incorporate it into their brand identities), Web archaeologist (who excavates information from clients’ web sites) and a Resultant (basically, a business planning expert who implements recommendations).

However the cream of the crop has to be the titles given to manual workers like head of verbal telecommunications (receptionist), domestic engineer (housewife), technical sanitation assistant (toilet cleaner), food production operative (working in a¬†food production line, or Mcdonald’s), cleaning operative (no prices for guessing this one) ¬†but my personal favourite the optical illuminator enhancer ( window cleaner).

Please feel free to add more to  the list.

In France, when people are telling you what their company does they use the word ‘activities’¬† and it sounds so shady . “This enterprise has a lot of activities” and I especially love when they get a new project, they say “I have a new mission“. So when I am sitting across some guy who tells me that he can’t make his rendezvous because he has a new mission, I giggle because I think James Bond.

April 23, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, Rant, Uncategorized, Work | Leave a comment

Do you remember when………

French and Saunders used to be funny?

This has to be the best ever sketch that they have done in my humble opinion. Totally spot on.

Especially love Dawn doing her Missy Elliot bit.

April 12, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, Music, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Nowt going on..

¬†Silence has descended upon this blog because there really is not much to write ‘home’ about.¬† So I shall just do a list as it is simpler and things are so humdrum, no explanation is needed as you will soon see.

The bad bits

  • Feeling a tard bit lonely here at the moment, and feeling like Johnny-no-mates and no one cares blah, blah, blah
  • Not too excited about my job but really don’t have a lot of options
  • Smoking way too much now
  • Spend wayyyyyyyyyyyy¬†too much time on tinternet (Peter Kay fans, know that word is not a typo)
  • Really worrying about the future
  • My car’s exhaust is f*****

The good bits

  • I have bought tickets to go somewhere nice for my summer holidays
  • My car has been repaired by the nicest mechanic in the whole world, who didn’t seem to rip me off because I was a woman (I hope)
  • I DO have a job and I LIKE my boss
  • I have a ‘fairly’ comfortable place to live in
  • I have decided to start a bookclub (an idea inspired by Princesse Ecossaise)
  • Currently reading ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’ by Oscar Wilde, and loving it!

April 8, 2008 Posted by | Battle of the Bulge, Blogroll, France, Rant, Uncategorized, Work | 2 Comments

I am such a child (Part 2)

I wrote a few paragraphs and decided not to continue with this post because as I was typing the words, I felt more and more foolish and silly. I have been fighting doing this but I surrender and think I ¬†need to get some happy pills ūüôā¬†

March 16, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Rant | 4 Comments

I am such a child

doc.jpg What you are about to read is an act of total immaturity committed by yours truly and you are totally free to say so without fear or condemnation because I totally acknowledge that it is.

I had a feeling of dread about today before it had even started. I don’t know why but I should have trusted my instincts and bailed. In some parts of France, there is a film festival going on, where you can watch films for a third of the price. So I decided to take full advantage of this and spend my whole day watching films at the cinema. Sounds like a fun day, right? Well it wasn’t.Decided to make a girlie day out of it. I planned the event with Friend1 and invited Friend2 along. The two friends have never met but¬†I thought we will all get on fine. Friend2 couldn’t make it for the first film but joined us for the second film. Oh an important detail is that Friend1 doesn’t speak very good English, so I actually have to really work on my French with her. Friend2 speaks great English, so I have it easy, but I have to admit that I¬†enjoy Friend1’s company more. Anyway back at the ranch, Friend2 joins us in time for the second film and luckily she got on well with Friend1.

Ok this is where my immaturity comes in. They got on too well. Off they go chatting away in very fast French, I was invisible. We went into the second film and Friend2 tells me that she is going with Friend1 to see a film that has just been previewed on the screen 20 seconds earlier and I was invited to come along with them if I wanted. Huh, WTF??? How big of you, you met 20 minutes ago and now you guys are now bosom bodies, and I was invited if I wanted.¬†I started burning like a furnace inside. As I write this I feel even more ridiculous for my reaction but I couldn’t help myself. Then to add salt to injury, throughout the film Friend2 was leaning over to Friend1 and there were sharing mutual cinematic reactions. With appropriate gasps of ‘putain’ and ‘merde’. Friend2 was in the middle and she didn’t acknowledge me once. Again I was ashamed to admit that I was quite upset. As much as I tried to hide it, I couldn’t. Unfortunately I am not one of those people that are good at hiding their emotions. I was clearly pissed off but when asked what the problem was, I used that old trusted excuse of monthly pains. I wasn’t¬†entirely dishonest but the pain that I was feeling was 10x more than any of that. Then we had a bit of a lunch break before the¬†last film. Friend2 was all over Friend1, I felt like such an outsider. My little petulant voice inside was saying well they can have each other. I just couldn’t get home fast enough.

I mean I wanted them to get along, of course I did, but I wanted us all to get along. I felt sidelined and I was upset¬†by this. I am pissed off with myself for caring so much about this, and also for not pretending that all was fine by smiling and just being chatty. I feel embarrassed at my behaviour and I wish I had more control of my emotions. I am too old to be behaving like this. You can’t control people, and I know that. But I just can’t help these feelings and I hate myself for feeling this way. Okay this next bit is going to tip the immaturity scales over………..

March 16, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Rant | 3 Comments

Women should bluff too

office.jpg¬†In my previous job, my boss told me something very interesting. When men and women apply for a job, they tackle it differently. If the job lists 10 criterias that the applicant must fulfill, if men are able to do 6 out of the 10 things listed they still apply for it and blag their way through the other 4 that they can’t do. On the contrary if women can do the 6 out of the 10, they will not apply as they feel that they don’t fit the criteria.

I have to admit the latter scenario is typically what I would do. Firstly there is that fear that applying for that job would be a waste of time for all involved. Secondly there is another fear, a bigger fear that you might actually get that job. Which inevitably leads to you being discovered as a fraud. Everyone has probably worked in a job where there is that person that you wonder how they got their job in the first place as they are beyond incompetent. By applying for a job that we feel is over our heads, we are scared to become that person, in case we become outed as a fraud.

But a lot of guys don’t seem to feel that fear or care too much about it. They just go for it, with the attitude that if they get the job, they can learn stuff as they go along, or do some kind of crash course, self tutorial thingy.¬†

Recently I was offered a little side job which I was not too sure about. I asked the company to send me a sample of the sort of thing I had to do. They promptly did and I promptly shat my pants. I thought I can’t manage this. It is way too hard. But then I thought, darm it, I need the dough. I gave them a yes.¬†Prior to starting my first assignment, I felt nausea, cotton mouth, sweaty palms et al. I couldn’t believe what I had gotten myself into. But as I set about doing it, it was less horrifying than originally thought. If the company don’t like the work, fair enough, I am not going to die from failure but I will certainly crumble from playing it safe and mediocre. But I intend on giving it a good shot.

Have made a promise to myself to try, at the very least. You never know. Now I have to go apply for the job as Vice – President of the United States, after I have found what the job entails and what sort of perks it comes with. Wish me luck ūüôā

March 11, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, France, Rant, Work | 3 Comments